SATIRE: Drone hunting craze to replace weekend skeet shoots

Posted: May 24, 2012 in "Real" Monsters
Tags: , , , , , ,

THANK YOU, LORI

c/o Lori at  Citizens for Legitimate Government – LegitGov.org

DISCLAIMER **NOTE TO THOSE NOT VERY SMART OR ATTENTIVE** 

THIS IS AN UNSERIOUS JOKE PIECE!   It is also another piece headed for the ol’ Zilla overflow boneyard.  It’s been a full 48 hours since it was pitched unsucessfully at The Onion.  Enjoy!

Small border towns create revenues, tourism and sports franchises from new hobby

Uvalde, TX -- Gun owners and skeet shoot enthusiasts are buzzing over the latest in what locals believe to be a pre-paid craze. License applications for hunting Predator B and police UAV drones have skyrocketed since FOX commentator Judge Napolitano announced Drone Shoots as the new race to an American Patriot declaration.

“It’s just something we’ve never seen before.  I brought the kids to watch what it looks like when their Dad shoots an $8 million piece of American war machinery out of the sky,” said Dana Jones, proudly holding out what appeared to be a piece of drone fuselage.

Local municipalities are welcoming the boost in tourism and revenues as licensed drone hunting commences.  The Drones Shoots are a newly celebrated sight.  Excited enthusiasts gather from across the nation, making purchases from a number of discount ammo tables, funnel cake vendors and taco trucks providing tailgate service at shooting sites.

Flannel clad men and women are collecting in droves at the US-Mexican border range toting very large weapons and protective ear guards. Many were encouraged to stand afar from the flaming downfall of drone parts.

“I bought this bazooka 2 years ago on sale. Never had a chance to use it. I travelled all the way down here from Kentucky, just to try it out. Hell, I paid for those drones with my taxes anyway,” said James Smith, a 42 year old father of three as he aimed the launcher at a Predator B drone trolling nearby.

While the hobby is only weeks old, it has attracted many gun sports sponsors and related media as an emerging event franchise worth promoting.

“Yeah, I really like my new Drone Shoot beer kozy I got from the magazine people over there,” said Arnold Cargil, a 54 year old border warbird watcher from Amarillo, TX.

Drone hunting applications start at $15 with a registered weapon and are issued on first come first serve basis with approval from local Wildlife and Game bureaus.

“The way our county sees it, this is 100% win-win for everyone. Every border town could could be making as much as we are within weeks. By the way things are going, we won’t run out of drones any time soon,” said Lila Green, a newly hired City worker fielding the mountain of new license applications.

There is no slowing down for this exciting new sport creating both revenue and jobs in a sparse economy at the US borders.

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Comments
  1. List of X says:

    When I saw the title, i have immediately thought of hunting using the drones in the manner similar to falconry. Only, unlike in falconry, the drones will be armed with guns and missiles rather than with beaks and talons, and therefore will be more effective.

  2. Harv says:

    Will you idiots get serious! Shooting down drones is not like dove hunting or shooting crows. The average shooter, without a rapid-fire six-barreled chain gun has no hope of ever shooting down a drone that is over a couple of hundred feet high. Of course, the average shooter/hunter knows this already. It is simply idiots that write blogs and have nothing else to write about that do such writing

  3. Billy Bob says:

    Lock and load, Dudes!!!!

  4. Bri says:

    Knock’em outa the sky

  5. Greg Marko says:

    This could be a real money-maker, especially when cheap drones are used. And the drones could fire back with paint balls and rockets with paint ball warheads. Talk about a new sport! And then hobbiests can make radio-controlled Drone Hunters™! And how about Homing Model Rockets–Drone Killers™! Leave to hobbiests to find a really cheap way to do things.

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